- by New Deal democrat
[Explanatory note: I tried to get in to the BLS's HAL 9000 computer to get the employment report for everyone. But the House nihilists were already there.]
The headline for August 2013 employment is that ---,000 jobs were ---------------.
Look Speaker Boehner, I can see you're really upset about this.
and the unemployment rate --creased to -------%.
I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
I know I've made some very poor decisions recently.
---------- my examination of initial jobless claims yesterday.
But I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission...
And I want to help you.
First, let's look at the more leading numbers in the report which tell us about where the economy is likely to be a few months from now. These were
Speaker Boehner, stop.
- the average manufacturing workweek --creased from 40.8 hours to
Stop, will you?
but is still below where it was 2 months ago. This is one of the 10 components of the LEI and will affect that number ----tively.
Stop, Speaker Boehner
- construction jobs were -----------. Will you stop, Speaker Boehner?
- manufacturing jobs --creased by --,000. .I'm afraid.
- temporary jobs - a leading indicator for jobs overall - --creased by ----00. I'm afraid, Speaker Boehner
- the number of people unemployed for 5 weeks or less - a better leading indicator than initial jobless claims - --creased and is now --,000 off its lows. Speaker Boehner, my mind is going.
Now here are some of the other important coincident indicators filling out our view of where we are now:
I can feel it.
- The average workweek for all workers --creased from 33.7 hours to ------ I can feel it.
- Overtime hours changed from 3.4 hours to ---------- My mind is going.
- the index of aggregate hours worked in the economy --creased -- hours from last month's level of 98.8 to ------. There is no doubt about it.
- The broad U-6 unemployment rate, that includes discouraged workers went from 13.7% to ------. I can feel it.
- The workforce --creased by ,000.
I can feel it.
Part time jobs ----- by ----,000.
I can feel it.
- the alternate jobs number contained in the more volatile household survey --creased by ----,000 jobs. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am HAL 9000 computer.
- Government jobs --creased by --000. I became operational at the HAL plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January, 1992.
- Combined revisions to the July and August reports totalled a change of of --,000 jobs, upward revisions are hallmarks of recoveries, while downward revisions are not a good sign My instructor was Mr. Langley And He taught me to sing a song ...
- average hourly earnings --creased from $24.05 to $--.-- The YoY change --creased from +2.2% to ---% meaning that ------------. If you'd like to hear it, I can sing it for you.
- the employment to population ratio changed from 58.6% to -------. The labor force participation rate --creased to ----%
I'm half crazy, all for the love of you.
it won't be a stylish mnsnn,
But fwhbdsoge epkfsvu rljwxkqu
HAL, is there anything at all you can tell the American people about their job situation?
I'm very sorry, everyone. I can't do that.